Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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