she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
