a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
