Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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