super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
