It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
