Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
