who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Randomize
