i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
my shit smells like andre
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
