Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
