Umm I'm too high to move.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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