I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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