I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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