So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
