There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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