I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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