k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
