Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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