Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
