Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
