It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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