But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You can't special order awesome
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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