So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
