I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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