So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
