white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
