Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
