Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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