Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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