ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
