Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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