Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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