i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
