i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize