tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize