Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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