I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
