i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
