He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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