butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
