That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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