my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
