she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
