what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
