I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
