we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize