if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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