the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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