I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The struggles of a small town man whore
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
