this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
