I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
