You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
