I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
