Got a toothbrush?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
