are you still at the devil's house?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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