You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
