wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize