Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
