so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
