HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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