So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Randomize
