i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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