Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
