when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
this is an emotional support booty call
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
