I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
